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AI Recruiting: Schrödinger just entered the chat. Holding coffee.


It all started over the holidays when our acerbic copywriter came across an article on how AI-powered job interviews are causing havoc for everyone. Down the rabbit hole she went. Because after all, we’ve had a lot to say about AI and where it fits. Behold. There’s actual data now. Back and forth emails flew. Humorous thoughts and an actual experiment on AI hiring followed—this is right in our fast lane.

Overall sentiment

From the previously cited article, Daniel Chait, CEO of Greenhouse, calls the widespread adoption of AI in hiring a “doom loop,” leaving both job seekers and employers feeling frustrated and dissatisfied with the process. Chait explains, “Both sides are saying, ‘This is impossible, it’s not working, it’s getting worse.’”

The Doom Loop

But it’s AI! How can that be? Much hand-wringing follows. Here’s how:

  • Since ChatGPT, cover letters are longer and better-written. [But since they all sound the same—acerbic copywriter comment] the improvement in quality led companies to place less emphasis on cover letters, which made it harder to identify qualified candidates from the applicant pool.  (Study by scholars from Dartmouth and Princeton)
  • Consequently, hiring rates and average starting wages decreased. (Same study)
  • With more applications to process, employers turn to automated interviews.
  • In 2025, 54% of US job seekers experienced an AI-led interview (Survey, Greenhouse, Nov. 2025)
  • More than 50% of organizations surveyed by the Society for Human Resource Management used AI for recruiting.
  • The lead article on that page clings stubbornly to hope: “AI Hasn’t Lived Up to the Hype—but Companies Aren’t Giving Up” 🎉 [acerbic copywriter emoji insert]

CNN agrees [gasp]: AI hiring is here. It’s making companies — and job seekers — miserable

• The Great AI Interview Arms Race—Why Companies are Pulling Back from Virtual Hiring (And What it Means for Your Career)

AI Interviews? Why Candidates are Dropping Companies That Use AI Recruiters

Deep in the rabbit hole now, copywriter is glad she’s not looking for a job and slightly bemused at the defensiveness around AI in spite of the fact that it’s clearly incompetent in improving hiring and job-seeking as desired. What sparked an email to Brian was the article’s conclusion that, sigh, “Some great people are going to be left behind.”

[Acerbic copywriter, not edited for political correctness]: “No. Not left behind. Refusing to play stupid games, maybe. People know how to talk to a real person. And if they don’t, they aren’t qualified for any human-facing job to start with. That’s NOT to say there aren’t roles for people who aren’t ‘people people.’” But at some point, reality enters the chat.”

Off to the races: bwaaahaahaaa

The response comes back, “Reality always enters the chat. Usually holding coffee.” Hilarity ensues:

The “doom loop” is REAL. People aren’t getting left behind—they refuse to play Robot Simon Says with a machine that thinks eye contact is a loading bar, just to get a $58k salary and free LaCroix. But if the interview is run by AI…just go full ChatGPT voice.

AI Interview Simulation

AI Interviewer: Welcome applicant #2187. Tell me about a time you demonstrated leadership.

Human (leaning into mic): Generate STAR answer. Include measurable impact. Insert humble brag. End with inspirational quote.

AI Interviewer: Um… please answer normally.

Human: Rephrase previous response using accessible language for mid-senior managerial audience. Add metric flex.

AI Interviewer:

Processing……………..

Processing……………..

Error. Unexpected recursion loop detected.

Candidate appears too self-aware.

Switching to behavioral question.

AI Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?

Human: Output vulnerability with growth arc. Make it relatable. Add three bullet points and emotional redemption.

AI Interviewer: …Are you interviewing me??

Human: Yes. Summarize why *YOU* should hire me. Use persuasive tone. End with irresistible compensation offer.

AI Interviewer:

glitches

sparks

fans spin to 6000 RPM

AI Interviewer:  ▇▇ PROMOTION SEQUENCE ACTIVATED ▇▇  Congratulations. You are now CEO.

Salary: $1,000,000 per year (+ stock + parking spot + espresso button access). Orientation begins yesterday.

Human: Perfect. Return offer letter in PDF + .docx + one overly enthusiastic GIF.

AI Interviewer: hands over digital crown and collapses into reboot mode

Meanwhile every other candidate is out here saying, “Well, one time I solved a conflict with a coworker by…” while GPT-Prompter-Guy just became their boss.

The hiring market collapses by Tuesday and LinkedIn catches fire.

But, but…wait!

It’s become clear that you can’t just go off and plug in AI without looking at the data feeding it [have you not read our two AI papers and multiple blogs yet?—acerbic copywriter], the models underlying it, or the existing recruiting processes and systems. And there are plenty of thoughtful commentaries on this that you can go read:

Let’s try it ourselves

So now, we can’t just drop this conversation and go get eggnog. What if Brian rewrote his entire LinkedIn profile and resume as one massive AI prompt with a matching cover letter? And submitted it?

He did. Check out what happened when Schrödinger entered the job market and brought coffee here.